How to Increase Your Sex Drive When You’re Trying to Conceive

Because fertility should feel good—not forced.

Let’s be honest: when you're trying to get pregnant and your sex drive is nowhere to be found, it can feel discouraging, confusing, and even a little heartbreaking.

You know when you're supposed to be having sex. You’re tracking your cycle. But the desire? It's just... not there.

If this sounds like you, you’re not alone. Many women experience low libido while trying to conceive (TTC)—and it’s not just about mood or mindset. There are real, physiological and emotional reasons your sex drive might be running low, especially during a season of fertility challenges.

Let’s break it down and talk about how to naturally support your libido, reconnect with your body, and make conception feel more like connection again.

💔 The Reality of Low Libido While TTC

Here’s the irony: sex is required for conception (most of the time), but trying to conceive can completely zap your desire for it. The pressure to “perform” during your fertile window, the constant tracking, and the emotional ups and downs of TTC can make intimacy feel like a chore instead of a connection.

You might feel:

• Mentally overwhelmed

• Disconnected from your partner

• Physically exhausted

• Frustrated with your body

• Or just... not in the mood

These feelings are valid—and they’re more common than you think.

🧠 What Causes Low Sex Drive in Women?

There are many underlying reasons your libido may be low, especially during your fertility journey. Most come back to hormonal imbalance and stress.

1. Hormonal Imbalance

• Low estrogen or testosterone can reduce vaginal lubrication and desire

• Low progesterone (often after ovulation) can leave you tired, anxious, or irritable

• Thyroid dysfunction can impact metabolism and mood

• High cortisol (stress hormone) competes with sex hormone production

2. Chronic Stress and Mental Load

Stress is THE biggest libido-killer for women. When you're in “fight or flight,” your body naturally prioritizes survival over reproduction. Your nervous system can’t relax into arousal when it’s flooded with cortisol.

3. Blood Sugar Imbalances

Blood sugar crashes and insulin resistance affect your energy, mood, and hormone balance—all of which can lower libido.

4. Gut Health and Nutrient Deficiencies

Low B vitamins, zinc, magnesium, and healthy fats can all impact your hormone production—and your desire.

🌿 Natural Ways to Boost Your Libido (and Support Fertility)

Good news: you don’t need to “wait it out” or fake it. There are natural ways to nourish your libido while also improving your fertility.

1. Balance Your Hormones

• Support your liver with leafy greens, cruciferous veggies, and dandelion root tea

• Seed cycling to support estrogen (flax + pumpkin seeds in follicular phase) and progesterone (sunflower + sesame in luteal phase)

• Avoid endocrine disruptors (fragrance, plastic, and toxic cleaning products)

2. Prioritize Stress Reduction

• Try gentle movement like walking or yoga

• Breath work, EFT tapping, or journaling to process emotions

• Adaptogens like maca (libido-supporting!) and ashwagandha

• Make space for non-baby-making intimacy and fun

3. Eat for Hormone Support

• Healthy fats (avocados, olive oil, grass-fed butter) to make sex hormones

• Protein at every meal to balance blood sugar

• Magnesium-rich foods (dark chocolate, pumpkin seeds, leafy greens) for relaxation

• Hydration! Even low libido can be linked to dehydration

4. Reconnect With Yourself and Your Partner

• Schedule non-fertility-related date nights

• Try a sensual massage or shared bath

• Communicate openly about pressure and timing

• Create space for intimacy without a goal

🗓 When to Have Sex to Maximize Fertility

Even if your libido is low, timing still matters when you’re TTC.

Your fertile window is the 5–6 days leading up to ovulation, with the highest chance of conception being:

🔹 2 days before ovulation🔹 The day of ovulation

Sperm can live in the reproductive tract for up to 5 days, but the egg only lives for 12–24 hours. That’s why pre-ovulation sex is key.

Signs You're Fertile:

• Egg white cervical mucus (clear, stretchy)

• Slight increase in libido (thanks, estrogen!)

• Cervical position is high, soft, and open

• Basal body temperature rises after ovulation

👉 Try having sex every other day from cycle day 10–16 (adjust based on your cycle length) to cover your fertile window without burnout.

Final Thoughts

If your sex drive is low, it’s not your fault—and it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It’s your body’s way of asking for support. By tuning into your hormones, stress, and nourishment, you can gently bring your desire back online—without pressure, shame, or forcing it.

At Find Your Fertility, I help women understand their hormones, reclaim their confidence, and find the root causes of fertility struggles—libido included.

You deserve to feel good in your body again. Let’s get you there.💛